Andre Botha won his first world title at 19 while this year Guilherme Tamega is poised to win another nudging 40, so it’s hard to say whether our world title prediction, Michael Novy, is a late bloomer or progressing just nicely. We certainly don’t want to wait another decade for a successor to Player but it’s not a bad thing he’s avoided the curse of the wayward child star. Despite our haughty proclamations, we’re not truly convinced Novy will even be a world title contender; talent rich, yes, and with strong junior credentials but that’s all proven to be worth little. We’ve all heard the story of Ryan Hardy, the most naturally talented bodyboarder the world had ever seen who never got to chug champagne from a crystal chalice because of a tour with no respect for reputations and no appreciation for fairytales. Currently, gulp, Novy is the best hope we have.

Both Australian world champs of the modern era – King and Player – agree that he needs to toughen mentally. Erect the impenetrable stone wall of mental fortification. The Australian stereotype of the stylish and talented yet ultimately laidback surfer is barely capable of winning friends at the moment, so from here on it’s enough with the matey matey routine because we’d rather be congratulating one world title winner than admiring the warmth and togetherness of a bunch of professional losers.

“It’s hard but I guess their bitterness will be worth it in the end,” Novy said on the thought of having to sacrifice personal relationships for the sake of a title, which sounds like Australian preciousness. Why can’t we be savages in the sea and still knock beers in the afternoon? Hard, maybe, but what happens out there, stays out there. Let the judges decide what’s fair and acceptable then push it a little bit further. But anyway, this is all very heavy for a summer issue and we should apologise. Novy has many good seasons left ahead of him and if he fails to meet our lofty expectations then it shouldn’t matter because a bodyboarding career is as long as you want to make it nowadays, accounting for the proper financial backing, so we’ll just keep Player on tour until we’re carrying his limp body to the shoreline. By that stage, if there is any justice in this world, a heir will  have been found.

Maybe it will be one of the kids selling themselves for selection on our next grom trip. You can meet them inside, the best under-19s from around the country put forward by their sponsors. If that sounds slightly like commercialism corrupting youth then you would be spot on, but if capitalism has taught us anything it’s that the best equipped will always come out on top. That and the fact you kids have been sending your resumes to the companies, not us, and we’d much like to keep it that way. The deal is they’ll all have signature clips posted on YouTube from the start of January for readers to vote on, top five with the highest tally go through. No room for inside manipulation outside of enlisting friends and various extended family members to vote repetitively for two weeks before the chosen fly to our shoot location for next issue’s feature.